updated scripts

pages/scripts/2023-2024/fall/penn.md

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++++
+sport = "football"
+date = 2023-10-28
+[teams.away]
+name = "Brown"
+score = 30
+[teams.home]
+name = "Penn"
+score = 26
++++
+
+## Pregame
+
+Ladies and gentlemen, friends and alumni, presenting an organization that doesn’t understand why you would want a ton of warts, it’s the Brown University “The economy isn’t real” BANNNDDDDDDDDDDD!
+
+Coming from a school that doesn’t even have a business major, it’s refreshing to see someone cares about the future of the hedge fund industry. Luckily Penn students get experience with moving the goalposts before they even graduate!. Still, if you’re rich enough from daddy’s emerald mines, you, too, can become a corporate oligarch. So watch now as the band forms a shiny gem and plays “Ra, Ra, Racketeer.”
+
+:sd[Band forms Emerald and plays Rasputin.]
+
+Catch us at halftime when we use our athletics budget to buy Kik.
+
+## Halftime
+
+Ladies and gentlemen, friends and alumni, presenting an organization that for some reason can’t see their reflection, it’s the Brown University *spoken in a Dracula accent* “blah blah blah” BANNNDDDDDDDDDDD
+
+Since it’s Halloweekend, we thought we’d give you all a good scare! Here are some of the most terrifying things about Penn:
+
+:::script-list
+- A. If you step on the compass, a plague of locusts descends upon you
+- B. The cold, dead eyes of your mascot
+- C. The wrath of an enraged pacifist 
+- D. ENIAC, the Evil, Never-Inhibited Annihilation Computer
+- E. The probability of indictment on the year of your 55th reunion, and
+- F. The Princeton band
+:::
+
+We can’t tell if you’re screaming in fright or because it’s midterm season! Either way, uncover your eyes and watch now as the band plays “October”!
+
+:sd[Band forms a pumpkin and plays September.]
+
+We’d like to propose a toast–no no, wait, don’t throw it yet! A toast to the iron moral backbone of Penn’s students and faculty, and to their perfect ratio. At Penn, you’ll never find “Sine moribus vanae.”
+
+Watch now as the band plays “Toast 2, toast 1’s better half” 
+
+:sd[Band forms B and plays #2.]
+
+Wait a minute, this isn’t Penn State. Brown Band Out.

pages/scripts/2023-2024/fall/princeton.md

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++++
+sport = "football"
+date = 2023-10-14
+[teams.home]
+name = "Brown"
+score = 28
+[teams.away]
+name = "Princeton"
+score = 27
++++
+
+## Pregame
+
+Ladies and gentlemen, friends and alumni, presenting an organization that is most certainly always on its best behavior, it’s the Brown University “No Mom, I stay in and study on the weekend” BANNNDDDDDDDDDDD!
+
+This is a special weekend - our families are finally able to tag along and witness what we get up to when we say “I’m with the band”, something they promised they wouldn’t do once we went off to college. Parenthood is truly a wondrous thing - which is why we’re so excited that the Princeton tiger and tigress were able to begin their journey towards parenthood, right on the football field. However it seems as though someone was not impressed with the quality of those … interactions, as they split not long after. We just hope the custody battle was amicable.
+
+Drop your kids off for the weekend, and watch now as the band plays “That Tigress is a Mom!”
+
+:sd[Band forms a cat and plays Stacy’s Mom]
+
+Oh no! While we were playing, a certain professor used his mind-reading powers on the entire stadium! He’s hatched a dastardly scheme to extort students for all the secrets they’re keeping from their innocent parents! Only one man can stop him–the Dark Knight himself, returning to Princeton after graduating in whatever year comics count as the distant past this week! POW! WHAM! Watch now as the band sends out the band signal and plays “Build Me Up, Batarang.”
+
+:sd[Band forms a B and plays Build Me Up, Buttercup.]
+
+Ooh, my achin’ joints . . . Catch us at halftime when we’ve finally gotten our hip replacement.
+
+## Halftime
+
+Ladies and gentlemen, friends and alumni, presenting an organization that slaps you with school spirit, it’s the Brown University “can’t snooze this alarm” BANNNDDDDDDDDDDD!
+
+We love our campus traditions - and we think that everyone should be able to enjoy waking up at 8:00 in the morning with us! There’s nothing like school spirit, and Princeton students have no shortage of ways to show theirs. Clean up some… totally non-alcoholic stains with your senior jacket! Duel your RA on Nassau Street! And of course, try not to fall off the roof while stealing the Nassau Hall bell clapper. (Pause) Ooh, that was a nasty one. Let’s just hope y’all don’t have any torsion from that!
+
+Wipe off the dust, and watch now as the band plays “The Lacerations that I Get”
+
+:sd[Band forms X and plays Impression.]
+
+We truly appreciate all of our bandies, from our quietest flute to our loudest cymbal. The Princeton Band clearly does too, giving out a bunch of exciting awards every year. Here are some of our favorites:
+
+:::script-list
+- A. The Turkey of the Year award, given to the band member who has exercised the worst judgment (such as choosing to play trumpet)
+- B. The Freshman Lush, awarded the “Little Whizzer” for best establishing the spirit of the - band after drinking… lots of milk, Mom
+- C. The Grossest Member… I think this one explains itself
+- D. The “What’re you Doin’ in There?” Award, given to the two band members who spent the most time “reorganizing the band closet” together.
+- E. The “Presidential Attitude,” the award given to the bandie who has consumed the most “Jimmy Carter’s” in one sitting and 
+- F. The Princeton band
+:::
+
+Still, all these awards have nothing on the prestige of the Brown Band’s very own Dochebag Award. Watch now as the band engages with our bandie siblings from another state’s traditions and plays “Raise Your Grossest Glass”
+
+:sd[Band forms a small glass and plays Raise Your Glass.]
+
+Your Dad. Brown Band Out.

pages/scripts/2023-2024/fall/yale.md

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+sport = "football"
+date = 2023-11-4
+[teams.home]
+name = "Brown"
+score = 17
+[teams.away]
+name = "Yale"
+score = 36
++++
+
+## Pregame
+
+Ladies and gentlemen, friends and alumni, presenting an organization that KNOWS that they got that dog in them, it’s the Brown University “Body of a Chihuahua, Spirit of a Labrador” BANNNDDDDDDDDDDD!
+
+We’d like to welcome the Yale Precision Marching Band, along with the lesser-known Yale Accuracy Marching Band. What do you mean, “What precision?” Those allegations are patently false and will not stand up to scrutiny! I’ve got all my sources right here, and I even translated some of them correctly! Watch now as the band starts an administrative revolution and plays “I Get My Info From Wikipedia”
+
+:sd[Band forms an X and plays I Get Around.]
+
+Still, with a university as old as Yale, there are surely going to be some prominent graduates. Among its alumni is America’s first spy, best known for setting the entire city of New York on fire and having the CIA try to steal a statue of him. Yale honors his memory with a trap worthy of a secret agent–if someone tries to carry on his firestarting legacy in the library, the outcome will take their breath away! Grab your oxygen masks, rappel out the window, and watch now as the band plays “Shippin’ Impossible.”
+
+:sd[Band forms an X and plays Shipping Up to Boston.]
+
+Catch us at halftime when we buy your mascot for $5.
+
+
+## Halftime
+
+Ladies and gentlemen, friends and alumni, presenting an organization that will never raise your taxes, it’s the Brown University “read my lips” BANNNDDDDDDDDDDD!
+
+Inflation has been on the rise lately, huh? And no, I’m not talking about that giant bladderball. I mean, back in ‘05 you had to train a group of Capuchins to handle your finances! But just as quickly, they figured out that money can be exchanged for grapes and … services. Watch now as the band goes bananas and plays “Monkey Town.”
+
+:sd[Band forms an X and plays Funkytown.]
+
+We’ve heard of a lot of secret organizations over at Yale, and the Band’s top investigators have been sent to bring them all out into the open - here’s the ones we've found to exist:
+
+:::script-list
+- A. Skull and Bones, who are ready to take your Order
+- B. Spade and Grave… at least for the next couple of days
+- C. Mac and Cheese–keep an eye out for impastas
+- D. Leaf and Handle… wait, that’s just our shopping list
+- E. H and W, a society it takes 20 years to leave, and
+- F. The Princeton band
+:::
+
+Watch now as the band discovers what’s really in the tomb basements and plays “In the Fray-Masons.”
+
+:sd[Band forms B and plays In the Fray.]
+
+Go back to Hartford. Brown Band Out.
+