- Observing Without Evaluating
- NVC only requires that we maintain a separation between observation and evaluation, but not remain completely objective and refrain from evaluating.
- evaluations are to be based on observations specific to time and context.
- When we combine observation with evaluation, people are apt to hear criticism.
- If we don't mix up what we can see with what is our opinion, it will save use all confusion.
- NVC only requires that we maintain a separation between observation and evaluation, but not remain completely objective and refrain from evaluating.
- The Highest Form of Human Intelligence.
- Distinguishing Observations From Evaluations
- The words always, never, ever, whenever, frequently, seldom, etc. => mixing observation and evaluation.
| Communication | Example of observation with evaluation mixed in | Example of observation separate from evaluation |
|---|---|---|
Use of verb to be without indication that the evaluator takes responsibility for the evaluation |
You are too generous. | When I see you give all your lunch money to others, I think you are being too generous. |
| Use of verbs with evaluative connotations | Doug procrastinates. | Doug only studies for exams the night before. |
| Implication that one's inferences about another person's thoughts, feelings, intentions, or desires are the only ones possible | She won't get her work in. | I don't think she'll get her work in. |
| Confusion of prediction with certainty | If you don't eat balanced meals, your health will be impaired. | If you don't eat balanced meals, I fear your health may be impaired. |
| Failure to be specific about referents | Immigrants don't take care of their property. | I have not seen the immigrant family living at 1679 Ross shovel the snow on their sidewalk. |
| Use of words denoting ability without indicating that an evaluation is being made | Hank Smith is a poor soccer player. | Hank Smith has not scored a goal in twenty games. |
| Use of adverbs and adjectives in ways that do not indicate an evaluation has been made | Jim is ugly. | Jim's looks don't appeal to me. |
- Summary
- “The first component of NVC entails the separation of observation from evaluation. When we combine observation with evaluation, others are apt to hear criticism and resist what we are saying. NVC is a process language that discourages static generalizations. Instead, observations are to be made specific to time and context, for example, “Hank Smith has not scored a goal in twenty games,” rather than “Hank Smith is a poor soccer player.”