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How to Be the Perfect Thanksgiving Guest - The New York Times
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Nov. 24, 2014
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The deepest form of vicarious pleasure, if not the noblest, is the kind we feel when most of our joy in someone else’s achievement comes from not having done any of the work ourselves. This is the happiness of thinking about a friend’s newborn baby when you get into bed for a full night’s rest; the thrill of knowing that at the exact moment when your marathon-running co-worker is gasping across the finish line in Central Park, you are at home, not running; and the joy of skipping over all the articles on turkey thermometers and lump-free gravy because it’s not your turn to host.
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Of course, as a Thanksgiving guest, you still have work to do. The altruistic way of looking at this is that you should try to make the host’s job easier. This assignment began back when you accepted the invitation. That was the moment to mention your allergies and to ask what you could bring with you. Now, with just a few days to go, it’s time to take stock.
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Are your white and sparkling wines chilled, and do you have a way to keep the bottles cold while you are getting there? If you are bringing your famous yam lollipops, will they be ready to serve, sitting in an ovenproof serving dish that can be warmed up while the turkey is resting? Don’t count on free counter space.
<a class="css-1g7m0tk" href="http://www.nathaliedupree.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank" title="">
Nathalie Dupree
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, a cookbook writer and veteran host in Charleston, S.C., ruefully recalled the year somebody showed up with boiled potatoes and proceeded to mash them on site. “Splattering potatoes on the wall at a time when everything else is going on is not welcome,” she said.
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If you absolutely must use the host’s kitchen to finish the yam lollipops, today would be a good time to confirm that it’s O.K. While you’re at it, ask if there’s something more that you can bring.
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“I certainly don’t always know, and would guess many a host doesn’t always know, what I need until closer to the event,” said Eric Diesel, who writes about food and lifestyle on his
<a class="css-1g7m0tk" href="http://urbanhomeblog.blogspot.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank" title="">
Urban Home Blog
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, and who has helped organize some sprawling Thanksgiving feasts with up to 30 guests. By the day before the holiday, he said, the host has a much better idea of what’s missing: cocktail napkins, folding chairs, ice or, Mr. Diesel suggested, piles of plastic containers for sending guests home with surplus food.
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The last items should be brought only if the host wants them and only if there are enough for everybody. One woman whose annual spread starts with two turkeys and eight pies and goes on from there said the most egregious guests of all time — worse even than the relative’s new girlfriend who entertained the multitudes with tales of their fantastic sexual escapades — were the couple who brought just enough Tupperware for themselves. “We didn’t get leftovers from Alan’s mom,” they explained. (The hostess, though still seething, asked that her name be withheld.)
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These suggestions help with the altruistic part of your mission. But remember that your highest priority is to make sure you are invited back so that you can enjoy the delicious sensation of not hosting again next Thanksgiving. Here, a small bribe is helpful. A bottle that is too good for the mob can be pressed discreetly into the host’s hands as you murmur, “This is for tomorrow.”
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The more thought you put into the bribe, the better the odds it will be effective a year from now. “Somebody brought me a nice box of stationery,” said John Winterman, the general manager of the Manhattan restaurant
<a class="css-1g7m0tk" href="http://www.nytimes.com/2014/08/27/dining/restaurant-review-batard-in-tribeca.html?module=Search&mabReward=relbias%3Aw%2C&#123;%221%22%3A%22RI%3A6%22&#125;" title="">
Bâtard
</a>
and a polished host at home, when asked about gifts from guests he has invited more than once. “Somebody brought me a chile pepper plant, which we used, of course.” Flowers growing in a pot (cyclamens look dapper at this time of year) beat cut stems, which will send the host rooting through the cupboards with gravy-splattered hands to find an empty vase.
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Your shot at a repeat performance will be seriously jeopardized if you spill Burgundy on the heirloom table linens, so a light, alcohol-absorbent lunch may be advisable if dinner will be served late in the day. On the same principle, pregaming with a few shots before you arrive is a risky maneuver. You should be relatively sober when you present your host gift and size up the situation.
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“Tune into how the event is going and plug into whoever needs something,” Mr. Diesel said. “If the cook is hiding in the kitchen ask, ‘Can I help, or do you need me to be out there so you can be in here?' ” If you are shooed away, he said, appoint yourself coat-check clerk, bartender or babysitter. Or talk to the stray great-aunt who’s on her own.
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If you are given a kitchen assignment, make sure you understand it down to the last detail, unlike the guest of Ms. Dupree’s who piled potatoes on the turkey platter. If the host refuses help, that should not be taken for an invitation to stand in front of the refrigerator and chat, even if that’s what you’d do on another, looser day. On Thanksgiving, home kitchens are almost as busy and focused as professional ones, and you shouldn’t enter the combat zone any more than you would bust through the swinging doors at
<a class="css-1g7m0tk" href="http://www.nytimes.com/2014/04/09/dining/restaurant-review-jean-georges-on-the-upper-west-side.html" title="">
Jean-Georges
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during dinner service shouting: “Yo, J. G.! What up, dog?”
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Most of all, encourage the cooks from the sidelines. Bite your tongue if you notice the gravy hasn’t been degreased as thoroughly as you think it should be.
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“It’s so important not to give any kind of advice on anything,” said Denis Gainty, a professor of Japanese history at Georgia State University. “You need to be the cheerleader for the food that’s being produced by the host. I have lots of opinions about brining, but I realize I need to steer the conversation to safer topics, like religion and homosexuality.”
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At last, the turkey has been carved and you can finally enjoy the fruits of someone else’s labor. The urge to cash in with soaring mountain ranges of your favorite foods will be strong. This is the time to recall that you are playing the long game. If the stuffing is gone before everyone has had a crack at it, the host can’t make more but can easily look around and identify the looters.
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For the last two decades,
<a class="css-1g7m0tk" href="http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/03/nyregion/03bigcity.html?module=Search&mabReward=relbias%3Aw%2C&#123;%221%22%3A%22RI%3A6%22&#125;" title="">
Tom & Jerry’s bar
</a>
in downtown Manhattan has been the site of an open-house Thanksgiving to which any local restaurant employees with nowhere else to go are invited. Daniel O’Connor, an architect who is one of the hosts, said the event is notable for its spirit of cooperation and sharing. Still, not everyone plays along. “You really see the divide when it’s leftover time,” he said. “You have some people literally taking an entire turkey home, not a piece of a turkey. Or taking a whole pie. There’s always someone like that.” As you load your plate, remember the Wall Street saying: Pigs get fat; hogs get slaughtered.
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While taking modest initial portions, though, it’s important to act as if you have never encountered such bounty. Leo Carey, a senior editor at The New Yorker, who was born in England and has successfully extracted an invitation from the same Boston family for 15 consecutive Thanksgivings, noticed this American technique of complimenting the host early on. “Everyone self-consciously, self-mockingly but also weirdly proudly, talks about gluttony,” he said. “But the literal amounts of food consumed haven’t struck me as totally unprecedented.”
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Compliments should be delivered between mouthfuls and scattered far and wide. Keep in mind that there may be many cooks around the table and that each one is a prospective source for next year’s invitation.
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Most of all, though, remember that no dish in the American canon provokes more performance anxiety than roast turkey, and the host needs to hear that all the effort was worth it. One year when I invited people to my house for Thanksgiving, I suggested, in one of those fits of neurotic self-deprecation that hosts are prone to, that the white meat was a bit dry. A guest I didn’t know very well agreed.
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Amateur move. When you don’t roast it yourself, the turkey is always perfect.
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This is the happiness of thinking about a friend’s newborn baby when you get into bed for a full night’s rest; the thrill of knowing that at the exact moment when your marathon-running co-worker is gasping across the finish line in Central Park, you are at home, not running; and the joy of skipping over all the articles on turkey thermometers and lump-free gravy because it’s not your turn to host.","formats":[]},"$Article:QXJ0aWNsZTpueXQ6Ly9hcnRpY2xlL2NlZjdjMjQ2LWM4NTUtNTU4NC1hMDg1LWJmMmM4M2UzZTliOA==.sprinkledBody.content@filterEmpty.3.content.0":{"__typename":"TextInline","text":"Of course, as a Thanksgiving guest, you still have work to do. The altruistic way of looking at this is that you should try to make the host’s job easier. This assignment began back when you accepted the invitation. That was the moment to mention your allergies and to ask what you could bring with you. Now, with just a few days to go, it’s time to take stock.","formats":[]},"$Article:QXJ0aWNsZTpueXQ6Ly9hcnRpY2xlL2NlZjdjMjQ2LWM4NTUtNTU4NC1hMDg1LWJmMmM4M2UzZTliOA==.sprinkledBody.content@filterEmpty.5.content.0":{"__typename":"TextInline","text":"Are your white and sparkling wines chilled, and do you have a way to keep the bottles cold while you are getting there? If you are bringing your famous yam lollipops, will they be ready to serve, sitting in an ovenproof serving dish that can be warmed up while the turkey is resting? Don’t count on free counter space. ","formats":[]},"$Article:QXJ0aWNsZTpueXQ6Ly9hcnRpY2xlL2NlZjdjMjQ2LWM4NTUtNTU4NC1hMDg1LWJmMmM4M2UzZTliOA==.sprinkledBody.content@filterEmpty.5.content.1":{"__typename":"TextInline","text":"Nathalie Dupree","formats":[{"type":"id","generated":true,"id":"$Article:QXJ0aWNsZTpueXQ6Ly9hcnRpY2xlL2NlZjdjMjQ2LWM4NTUtNTU4NC1hMDg1LWJmMmM4M2UzZTliOA==.sprinkledBody.content@filterEmpty.5.content.1.formats.0","typename":"LinkFormat"}]},"$Article:QXJ0aWNsZTpueXQ6Ly9hcnRpY2xlL2NlZjdjMjQ2LWM4NTUtNTU4NC1hMDg1LWJmMmM4M2UzZTliOA==.sprinkledBody.content@filterEmpty.5.content.1.formats.0":{"__typename":"LinkFormat","url":"http:\u002F\u002Fwww.nathaliedupree.com\u002F","title":""},"$Article:QXJ0aWNsZTpueXQ6Ly9hcnRpY2xlL2NlZjdjMjQ2LWM4NTUtNTU4NC1hMDg1LWJmMmM4M2UzZTliOA==.sprinkledBody.content@filterEmpty.5.content.2":{"__typename":"TextInline","text":", a cookbook writer and veteran host in Charleston, S.C., ruefully recalled the year somebody showed up with boiled potatoes and proceeded to mash them on site. “Splattering potatoes on the wall at a time when everything else is going on is not welcome,” she said.","formats":[]},"$Article:QXJ0aWNsZTpueXQ6Ly9hcnRpY2xlL2NlZjdjMjQ2LWM4NTUtNTU4NC1hMDg1LWJmMmM4M2UzZTliOA==.sprinkledBody.content@filterEmpty.7.content.0":{"__typename":"TextInline","text":"If you absolutely must use the host’s kitchen to finish the yam lollipops, today would be a good time to confirm that it’s O.K. While you’re at it, ask if there’s something more that you can bring.","formats":[]},"$Article:QXJ0aWNsZTpueXQ6Ly9hcnRpY2xlL2NlZjdjMjQ2LWM4NTUtNTU4NC1hMDg1LWJmMmM4M2UzZTliOA==.sprinkledBody.content@filterEmpty.9.content.0":{"__typename":"TextInline","text":"“I certainly don’t always know, and would guess many a host doesn’t always know, what I need until closer to the event,” said Eric Diesel, who writes about food and lifestyle on his ","formats":[]},"$Article:QXJ0aWNsZTpueXQ6Ly9hcnRpY2xlL2NlZjdjMjQ2LWM4NTUtNTU4NC1hMDg1LWJmMmM4M2UzZTliOA==.sprinkledBody.content@filterEmpty.9.content.1":{"__typename":"TextInline","text":"Urban Home Blog","formats":[{"type":"id","generated":true,"id":"$Article:QXJ0aWNsZTpueXQ6Ly9hcnRpY2xlL2NlZjdjMjQ2LWM4NTUtNTU4NC1hMDg1LWJmMmM4M2UzZTliOA==.sprinkledBody.content@filterEmpty.9.content.1.formats.0","typename":"LinkFormat"}]},"$Article:QXJ0aWNsZTpueXQ6Ly9hcnRpY2xlL2NlZjdjMjQ2LWM4NTUtNTU4NC1hMDg1LWJmMmM4M2UzZTliOA==.sprinkledBody.content@filterEmpty.9.content.1.formats.0":{"__typename":"LinkFormat","url":"http:\u002F\u002Furbanhomeblog.blogspot.com\u002F","title":""},"$Article:QXJ0aWNsZTpueXQ6Ly9hcnRpY2xlL2NlZjdjMjQ2LWM4NTUtNTU4NC1hMDg1LWJmMmM4M2UzZTliOA==.sprinkledBody.content@filterEmpty.9.content.2":{"__typename":"TextInline","text":", and who has helped organize some sprawling Thanksgiving feasts with up to 30 guests. By the day before the holiday, he said, the host has a much better idea of what’s missing: cocktail napkins, folding chairs, ice or, Mr. Diesel suggested, piles of plastic containers for sending guests home with surplus food.","formats":[]},"$Article:QXJ0aWNsZTpueXQ6Ly9hcnRpY2xlL2NlZjdjMjQ2LWM4NTUtNTU4NC1hMDg1LWJmMmM4M2UzZTliOA==.sprinkledBody.content@filterEmpty.11.content.0":{"__typename":"TextInline","text":"The last items should be brought only if the host wants them and only if there are enough for everybody. One woman whose annual spread starts with two turkeys and eight pies and goes on from there said the most egregious guests of all time — worse even than the relative’s new girlfriend who entertained the multitudes with tales of their fantastic sexual escapades — were the couple who brought just enough Tupperware for themselves. “We didn’t get leftovers from Alan’s mom,” they explained. 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A bottle that is too good for the mob can be pressed discreetly into the host’s hands as you murmur, “This is for tomorrow.”","formats":[]},"$Article:QXJ0aWNsZTpueXQ6Ly9hcnRpY2xlL2NlZjdjMjQ2LWM4NTUtNTU4NC1hMDg1LWJmMmM4M2UzZTliOA==.sprinkledBody.content@filterEmpty.15.content.0":{"__typename":"TextInline","text":"The more thought you put into the bribe, the better the odds it will be effective a year from now. “Somebody brought me a nice box of stationery,” said John Winterman, the general manager of the Manhattan restaurant ","formats":[]},"$Article:QXJ0aWNsZTpueXQ6Ly9hcnRpY2xlL2NlZjdjMjQ2LWM4NTUtNTU4NC1hMDg1LWJmMmM4M2UzZTliOA==.sprinkledBody.content@filterEmpty.15.content.1":{"__typename":"TextInline","text":"Bâtard","formats":[{"type":"id","generated":true,"id":"$Article:QXJ0aWNsZTpueXQ6Ly9hcnRpY2xlL2NlZjdjMjQ2LWM4NTUtNTU4NC1hMDg1LWJmMmM4M2UzZTliOA==.sprinkledBody.content@filterEmpty.15.content.1.formats.0","typename":"LinkFormat"}]},"$Article:QXJ0aWNsZTpueXQ6Ly9hcnRpY2xlL2NlZjdjMjQ2LWM4NTUtNTU4NC1hMDg1LWJmMmM4M2UzZTliOA==.sprinkledBody.content@filterEmpty.15.content.1.formats.0":{"__typename":"LinkFormat","url":"http:\u002F\u002Fwww.nytimes.com\u002F2014\u002F08\u002F27\u002Fdining\u002Frestaurant-review-batard-in-tribeca.html?module=Search&mabReward=relbias%3Aw%2C{%221%22%3A%22RI%3A6%22}","title":""},"$Article:QXJ0aWNsZTpueXQ6Ly9hcnRpY2xlL2NlZjdjMjQ2LWM4NTUtNTU4NC1hMDg1LWJmMmM4M2UzZTliOA==.sprinkledBody.content@filterEmpty.15.content.2":{"__typename":"TextInline","text":" and a polished host at home, when asked about gifts from guests he has invited more than once. “Somebody brought me a chile pepper plant, which we used, of course.” Flowers growing in a pot (cyclamens look dapper at this time of year) beat cut stems, which will send the host rooting through the cupboards with gravy-splattered hands to find an empty vase.","formats":[]},"$Article:QXJ0aWNsZTpueXQ6Ly9hcnRpY2xlL2NlZjdjMjQ2LWM4NTUtNTU4NC1hMDg1LWJmMmM4M2UzZTliOA==.sprinkledBody.content@filterEmpty.17.content.0":{"__typename":"TextInline","text":"Your shot at a repeat performance will be seriously jeopardized if you spill Burgundy on the heirloom table linens, so a light, alcohol-absorbent lunch may be advisable if dinner will be served late in the day. 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into how the event is going and plug into whoever needs something,” Mr. Diesel said. “If the cook is hiding in the kitchen ask, ‘Can I help, or do you need me to be out there so you can be in here?' ” If you are shooed away, he said, appoint yourself coat-check clerk, bartender or babysitter. Or talk to the stray great-aunt who’s on her own.","formats":[]},"$Article:QXJ0aWNsZTpueXQ6Ly9hcnRpY2xlL2NlZjdjMjQ2LWM4NTUtNTU4NC1hMDg1LWJmMmM4M2UzZTliOA==.sprinkledBody.content@filterEmpty.23.content.0":{"__typename":"TextInline","text":"If you are given a kitchen assignment, make sure you understand it down to the last detail, unlike the guest of Ms. Dupree’s who piled potatoes on the turkey platter. If the host refuses help, that should not be taken for an invitation to stand in front of the refrigerator and chat, even if that’s what you’d do on another, looser day. 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G.! What up, dog?”","formats":[]},"$Article:QXJ0aWNsZTpueXQ6Ly9hcnRpY2xlL2NlZjdjMjQ2LWM4NTUtNTU4NC1hMDg1LWJmMmM4M2UzZTliOA==.sprinkledBody.content@filterEmpty.25.content.0":{"__typename":"TextInline","text":"Most of all, encourage the cooks from the sidelines. Bite your tongue if you notice the gravy hasn’t been degreased as thoroughly as you think it should be.","formats":[]},"$Article:QXJ0aWNsZTpueXQ6Ly9hcnRpY2xlL2NlZjdjMjQ2LWM4NTUtNTU4NC1hMDg1LWJmMmM4M2UzZTliOA==.sprinkledBody.content@filterEmpty.27.content.0":{"__typename":"TextInline","text":"“It’s so important not to give any kind of advice on anything,” said Denis Gainty, a professor of Japanese history at Georgia State University. “You need to be the cheerleader for the food that’s being produced by the host. I have lots of opinions about brining, but I realize I need to steer the conversation to safer topics, like religion and homosexuality.”","formats":[]},"$Article:QXJ0aWNsZTpueXQ6Ly9hcnRpY2xlL2NlZjdjMjQ2LWM4NTUtNTU4NC1hMDg1LWJmMmM4M2UzZTliOA==.sprinkledBody.content@filterEmpty.29.content.0":{"__typename":"TextInline","text":"At last, the turkey has been carved and you can finally enjoy the fruits of someone else’s labor. The urge to cash in with soaring mountain ranges of your favorite foods will be strong. This is the time to recall that you are playing the long game. 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Daniel O’Connor, an architect who is one of the hosts, said the event is notable for its spirit of cooperation and sharing. Still, not everyone plays along. “You really see the divide when it’s leftover time,” he said. “You have some people literally taking an entire turkey home, not a piece of a turkey. Or taking a whole pie. There’s always someone like that.” As you load your plate, remember the Wall Street saying: Pigs get fat; hogs get slaughtered.","formats":[]},"$Article:QXJ0aWNsZTpueXQ6Ly9hcnRpY2xlL2NlZjdjMjQ2LWM4NTUtNTU4NC1hMDg1LWJmMmM4M2UzZTliOA==.sprinkledBody.content@filterEmpty.33.content.0":{"__typename":"TextInline","text":"While taking modest initial portions, though, it’s important to act as if you have never encountered such bounty. Leo Carey, a senior editor at The New Yorker, who was born in England and has successfully extracted an invitation from the same Boston family for 15 consecutive Thanksgivings, noticed this American technique of complimenting the host early on. “Everyone self-consciously, self-mockingly but also weirdly proudly, talks about gluttony,” he said. “But the literal amounts of food consumed haven’t struck me as totally unprecedented.”","formats":[]},"$Article:QXJ0aWNsZTpueXQ6Ly9hcnRpY2xlL2NlZjdjMjQ2LWM4NTUtNTU4NC1hMDg1LWJmMmM4M2UzZTliOA==.sprinkledBody.content@filterEmpty.35.content.0":{"__typename":"TextInline","text":"Compliments should be delivered between mouthfuls and scattered far and wide. Keep in mind that there may be many cooks around the table and that each one is a prospective source for next year’s invitation.","formats":[]},"$Article:QXJ0aWNsZTpueXQ6Ly9hcnRpY2xlL2NlZjdjMjQ2LWM4NTUtNTU4NC1hMDg1LWJmMmM4M2UzZTliOA==.sprinkledBody.content@filterEmpty.37.content.0":{"__typename":"TextInline","text":"Most of all, though, remember that no dish in the American canon provokes more performance anxiety than roast turkey, and the host needs to hear that all the effort was worth it. One year when I invited people to my house for Thanksgiving, I suggested, in one of those fits of neurotic self-deprecation that hosts are prone to, that the white meat was a bit dry. A guest I didn’t know very well agreed.","formats":[]},"$Article:QXJ0aWNsZTpueXQ6Ly9hcnRpY2xlL2NlZjdjMjQ2LWM4NTUtNTU4NC1hMDg1LWJmMmM4M2UzZTliOA==.sprinkledBody.content@filterEmpty.39.content.0":{"__typename":"TextInline","text":"Amateur move. 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