diff --git a/README.md b/README.md
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--- a/README.md
+++ b/README.md
@@ -1,26 +1,93 @@
-# David Blue's GitHub Repository Template
-Updated `08092022-233310`
+# iPhone ร Bluetooth Keyboard: The Definitive Guide
-- [**GitHub**](https://github.com/extratone/latte)
-- [WTF](https://davidblue.wtf/drafts/745BCB94-CE46-4509-A7E0-7566F8DDDF23.html)
-- [WTF Shortlink](https://davidblue.wtf/latte) - `https://davidblue.wtf/latte`
-- [~](https://tilde.town/~extratone/misc/latte)
-- [Things](things:///show?id=8bnNqdTt7bupYXTbmD1SbE)
+
----
+### ๐๐ฝ ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฝ ๐ผ๐ธ๐พ๐ท๐ญ ๐ช ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ต๐ฎ ๐ผ๐ฒ๐ต๐ต๐... ๐๐ฝ ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฝ ๐ต๐ธ๐ธ๐ด ๐ช ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ต๐ฎ ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ป๐ช๐ท๐ฐ๐ฎ...
-
+...but **real**, **lovely** iPhone users all over the world prop our phones up on broken, hand-me-down MagSafe docks, ratchet them into terrible homemade tripod/car windshield mount hybrid monstrosities, or simply rest them on the back of our hands so that we may **type to them on physical keycaps**.
-***Latte*** is a GitHub Repository Template created specifically for use by [David Blue](/DavidBlue.vcf) (thatโs me, howdy,) but open to any and all use/misuse/defilement as per [its license](/LICENSE.md).
+
-To be honest, Iโm almost positive the name was really clever but I cannot for the life of me remember what the fuck I meant.
+Some of us having been doing so regularly since support for Bluetooth keyboard inputs were first added, (actually at least *one* of us has actually been using an external hardware keyboard with mobile computers since the 1990s... Oh yes. Now you're intrigued, right?,) though nobody can tell you [exactly when this was done](https://appleinsider.com/articles/07/10/15/review_apple_wireless_keyboard_aluminum), or what iPhone OS version first included it.
-### Contact me for whatever reason
+...yes, from the very beginning, the simple abstract truth that *Apple's iPhone supports Bluetooth keyboard inputs* has only been acknowledged a handful of times in **user-facing** documentation, specifically, from Apple.
-- [Contact Card](https://davidblue.wtf/db.vcf)
-- [Telegram](https://t.me/extratone)
-- [Email](mailto:davidblue@extratone.com)
-- [Twitter](https://twitter.com/NeoYokel)
-- [Mastodon](https://mastodon.social/@DavidBlue)
-- [Discord](https://discord.gg/0b9KQUKP858b0iZF)
-- [*Everywhere*](https://raindrop.io/davidblue/social-directory-21059174)...
\ No newline at end of file
+In fact, here is the entirety of what the current version of Apple's iPhone User Guide has to say about it:
+
+***
+
+# Use Magic Keyboard with iPhone
+
+You can use Magic Keyboard, including Magic Keyboard with Numeric Keypad, to enter text on iPhone. Magic Keyboard connects to iPhone using Bluetooth and is powered by a built-in rechargeable battery. (Magic Keyboard is sold separately.)
+
+*Note:* For compatibility information about Apple Wireless Keyboard and third-party Bluetooth keyboards, see the Apple Support article [Apple Wireless Keyboard and Magic Keyboard compatibility with iOS devices](https://support.apple.com/HT202041).
+
+## Pair Magic Keyboard to iPhone
+
+1. Make sure the keyboard is turned on and charged.
+2. On iPhone, go to Settings โ๏ธ > Bluetooth, then turn on Bluetooth.
+3. Select the device when it appears in the Other Devices list.
+
+*Note:* If Magic Keyboard is already paired with another device, you must unpair them before you can connect Magic Keyboard to your iPhone. For iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch, see [Unpair a Bluetooth device](https://support.apple.com/guide/iphone/use-other-bluetooth-headphones-iph3c50f191/14.0/ios/14.0#iph8f62615e0). On Mac, choose Apple menu ๐ > System Preferences > Bluetooth, select the device, then Control-click its name.
+
+## Reconnect Magic Keyboard to iPhone
+
+Magic Keyboard disconnects when you turn its switch to Off or when you move it or iPhone out of Bluetooth rangeโabout 33 feet (10 meters).
+
+To reconnect, turn the keyboard switch to On, or bring the keyboard and iPhone back into range, then tap any key.
+
+When Magic Keyboard is reconnected, the onscreen keyboard doesnโt appear.
+
+## Switch to the onscreen keyboard
+
+To show the onscreen keyboard, press โ๏ธ on the external keyboard. To hide the onscreen keyboard, press โ๏ธ again.
+
+## Switch between language and emoji keyboards
+
+1. On Magic Keyboard, press and hold the Control key.
+2. Press the Space bar to cycle between English, emoji, and [any keyboards you added for typing in different languages](https://support.apple.com/guide/iphone/add-or-change-keyboards-iph73b71eb/14.0/ios/14.0).
+
+## Open Search using Magic Keyboard
+
+Press Command-Space.
+
+## Change typing options for Magic Keyboard
+
+You can change how iPhone automatically responds to your typing on an external keyboard.
+
+Go to Settings โ๏ธ > General > Keyboard > Hardware Keyboard, then do any of the following:
+
+* *Assign an alternative keyboard layout:* Tap a language at the top of the screen, then choose an alternative layout from the list. (An alternative keyboard layout that doesnโt match the keys on your external keyboard.)
+* *Turn Auto-Capitalization on or off:* When this option is selected, an app supporting this feature capitalizes proper nouns and the first words in sentences as you type.
+* *Turn Auto-Correction on or off:* When this option is selected, an app supporting this feature corrects the spelling as you type.
+* *Turn โ.โ Shortcut on or off:* When this option is selected, double-tapping the space bar inserts a period followed by a space.
+* *Change the action performed by the Command key or other modifier key:* Tap Modifier Keys, tap a key, then choose the action you want it to perform.
+
+*Last updated* `1627066846`
+
+
+
+
+
+***
+
+## Links
+
+* [The Project Board](https://github.com/extratone/bilge/projects/2)
+
+***
+
+# Resources
+## Brett Terstra
+
+* [iTextEditors](https://brettterpstra.com/ios-text-editors) - *The* definitive list of text manipulation software on iOS.
+* See [this topic on his website](https://brettterpstra.com/topic/keyboard/) for editorial work.
+* His [Grablinks bookmarklet](https://brettterpstra.com/projects/grablinks/) was very much ahead of its time in 2014. Unfortunately it doesn't appear to be reliably functioning at the moment, but I promise to work on it soon.
+
+
+
+[WWDC Transcripts Repo](https://github.com/extratone/wwdc)
+
+* His [**Titler tool**](https://brettterpstra.com/projects/titler/) for automatically fetching the wee bit of meta required to manifest formatted Markdown hyperlinks with a single action.
+
+https://brettterpstra.com/projects/markdown-service-tools/